A year in review

 

 

So long 2022...here comes 2023

It is always worth reviewing where you have come from, to give you clues where you are going, and I have to say for me in photography terms 2022 has been....

Absolutely awful

I have been thinking long and hard about why and what top do about. In any creative art, slumps are to be expected, but this one feels different. For starters, this has been far longer than normal, but I think also I am in a different place in my life and therefore have fewer avenues to fix it. For the first time in many years, I am seriously wondering whether to give up photography, at least for a while.

So what's wrong, and how do I fix it?

1. Quality

 

 

Quality is always subjective. How you feel about your photos will always depend on your mood at the time, but I cannot point to any image that I am truly happy with. It feels like I have reached a plateau, and I am not sure how to move on. 

The previous years have all been about improvement. Every year I have felt I have made some progress, either in how I take images or expanding into other areas. This year, my images have either felt derivative or I have not produced that memorable photo. I have tried other techniques, but nothing has really stuck.

Now, part of this is the Adam and Eve effect. In the early years I really did not understand what I was doing, so any half decent image seemed good if not miraculous. Now I have suckled on the apple of knowledge and I have a good idea of what is a good and bad image, and mine just do not meet my expectations. In truth, I am my worst critic, but that does not mean I'm wrong.

So my worry is that there is no next level. That my photography is doomed to not improve or, worse, decline as I lose heart. 

2. Opportunity

 

 

One way I found of getting out of a funk is just to go somewhere new. I have been places this year such as Cornwall, Robin Hoods Bay and Snowden, but they were all family holidays or with other people. However, one realization that I have come to accept is that I just don't like taking photographs with other people. I have to be there in my time and my schedule. I just cannot do that with anyone being around me, I always feel the need to moderate my time demands, move with the flow etc. 

 

 

 

As an example, I spent 2 days in Snowden and a day on Dinorwic slate quarry. I have wanted to go back for a number of years, but because I was with my daughter, I felt I could not just abandon her and go off or spend any time more than the minimum taking photos.

So why did I not just go off somewhere? There were a number of reasons why not, but I have just found myself de-motivated to try. This is strange because we felt huge frustrations during the Covid lockdown years, and you would have thought with restrictions dropped we would bound into action, but instead I seem infected with a weird agoraphobia like an animal constrained to a small enclosure who is so institutionalized that they are incapable of leaving their safe space. I am not alone in this, other photographers I have talked to seem to have suffered the same effect

Then there are the frustrations of when I am given an opportunity, I don't use it to it full potential. The big one this year was my nieces wedding. For me, weddings are the pinnacle of a photographer's challenge, and here was someone who had decided not to employ a professional. It felt that my photography journey had been building up to this. I could have stepped in, taken charge and made sure the important shots were taken, but I did not and missed not only an important opportunity but also a great gift for my niece.  Yes, sure I took some nice images, but I could have done so much more and that frustration has really been eating me for the last 6 months.

3. Circumstance

My life has changed a lot over the last couple of years. Firstly, the bit of my life that pays for the hobby has been required to take on new responsibilities. This means that I have less time to devote to my photography. 

 

Secondly, we got a dog. Now don't get me wrong, I love the little furball, but I was not keen to get one since I knew it would disrupt my life. My family assured me that they would be taking responsibility for walks etc, which did not happen, pretty well instantly. So that means that my mornings are often taken up with dog walking. So why is that a problem? Again, I have found I cannot mix photography and dog care. As I said, I am not a social photography and I find I cannot mix them. Worse, my wife feels that the walking should be done together, meaning I cannot sneak off an hour before sunrise, without pained looks from both my dog and my wife

 Solutions

So what to do about this? 

 The first would be to just accept the inevitable and give up. Take up another hobby where at least I have a chance of making progress. Apart from the fact that I would have either a ton of expensive kit lying around, or require extensive eBay visits, I don't feel ready to give up yet. Alternatively, a sabbatical may help me to get my thoughts in order, but I do like photography and I do feel that I need to take images, even just for me. And maybe that's the problem.  Perhaps it is not the taking of images that is the issue, but instead comparing them with my own and others. Maybe I should just start taking images for myself rather than others

Secondly, buy more kit. There is always a part of any photographer that says I could have taken that image if only I had a better camera/lens. While deep down I know it is not true, different kit does open new opportunities that may create a spark. For example, I am painfully aware that my present main camera autofocussing of moving objects is behind the curve. Also, I would like to do more multiple exposures, but its implementation is poor. As for lenses, I would like a better macro, ultra-wide angle and walk around lens. At the same time, I also know I have too much kit. For example, I have a 56 mm lens which I just do not use. However, this way, dragons lie. Spending yourself out of a slump may just result in an expensive slump.

Get out more. I have to break my inertia and go places purely for photography. Basically, I need to commit myself to going, warn my nearest and dearest that no is not an option and put my family on dog sitting duty. Problem is, even as I write this I feel the inertia creeping back in, but it is something I must commit too

Finally, I need a long term project.  One of my failures over the last year is to find a project I can work towards. Projects help you focus on the task, drown out the noise and gives you blinkers to ignore obstacles. I have tried and failed to start projects this year, but I need to find one to carry me into the new year and beyond.

So if anyone has any suggestions on how to learn to love photography again? Answers on a post card